THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #67

ISSUE #67

Dark Side Gets DarkerTwo DBs on Day 2. Schneider finally traded back. Edge rusher? Still crickets.

Schneider Went All-In on the Secondary. Two DBs. Zero Apologies.

The Seahawks spent both Day 2 picks on defensive backs, and if you were waiting for an edge rusher, you’ll be waiting until at least 9 AM this morning. TCU safety Bud Clark went 64th overall, a ball-hawking six-year college veteran who models his game after Kam Chancellor. In the third round, after Schneider finally got the trade-back he’d been chasing all draft, Arkansas cornerback Julian Neal landed at 99.

Clark is the pick that tells you what Macdonald values. He logged more than 1,200 snaps in the slot, 700 in the box, and 400 at free safety over his TCU career. Fifteen interceptions in four years as a starter. A 4.41 forty. Michael Bumpus said on Seattle Sports it’s “almost like he has a radar where he feels the ball coming.” He fills the hole Coby Bryant left when he walked to Chicago, and he gives Macdonald another chess piece who can disguise coverages and rotate after the snap.

15

Career interceptions for Bud Clark at TCU — the most prolific ballhawk Seattle has drafted since Earl Thomas.

Neal is the prototypical Schneider-era corner: 6-2, 203 pounds, long arms, physical in the run game. He posted the longest broad jump among all cornerbacks at the combine. He told reporters on his conference call that a Seahawks assistant coach looked him in the eye at the combine and said he’d likely get picked by Seattle. Bold of them. Accurate, too.

The trade from 96 to 99 with Pittsburgh was modest but meaningful. Seattle gained pick 216, the last selection of the sixth round, giving them five total picks after entering the draft with the league’s fewest. Two picks remain for Day 3: 188 and 216. Edge rusher and… whatever else Schneider can find in the back half of the sixth round.

They told him at the combine he’d get picked by Seattle. Bold of them. Accurate, too.

SOURCES →

Howell Went to Cincinnati. Greenard Went to Philly. The Edge Room Is on Its Own.

Keep Reading ↓

Then the Greenard domino fell. Philadelphia traded two third-round picks to Minnesota for Jonathan Greenard and immediately signed him to a four-year, $100 million extension. That’s the edge rusher the Seahawks were monitoring for weeks, gone to the NFC East. Field Gulls put it plainly: the Seahawks “aren’t feeling this edge rusher class,” with all the top names now off the board.

Day 3 offers two sixth-round picks. Keyshawn James-Newby, the New Mexico edge rusher Seattle had a second meeting with, is still available. Dante Fowler remains unsigned. DeMarcus Lawrence is still technically coming back. But the draft isn’t going to solve this problem anymore. The pass rush solution, if one exists, is coming from outside the building.

The draft isn’t going to solve this problem anymore. The pass rush solution is coming from outside the building.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

Giants GM Joe Schoen flatly denied Thibodeaux trade talks on Friday night: “We have not had any conversations about Kayvon Thibodeaux today. That’s not true.” Schneider’s phone got the voicemail it deserved. NBC Sports

Cliff Avril announced both Seahawks Day 2 picks from the stage in Pittsburgh. The last time a Seahawk DE announced a safety pick, the safety probably ended up being pretty good. No pressure, Bud. NFL.com

Day 3 starts at 9 AM PT today on ESPN, ABC, and NFL Network. Seattle holds picks 188 and 216. Running backs Mike Washington Jr. and Jonah Coleman are both still on the board. Field Gulls

Bud Clark on his conference call: “I’ve been wanting to play for them for the longest.” He patterned his game after Kam Chancellor growing up. At 6-1 and 188 pounds, the frame comparison stops at the shoulder pads. Yahoo Sports

RAMS

The Rams followed up their Ty Simpson shocker at 13 with Ohio State tight end Max Klare at 61 and Missouri tackle Keagen Trost at 93. Trost is a seventh-year senior who attended four colleges before landing in L.A. He’s been in school longer than some Rams starters have been in the league. McVay now has a quarterback-in-waiting, a blocking tight end, and a tackle with more transfer credits than a community college counselor. The Stafford succession plan is officially a multi-year campus tour.

NINERS

San Francisco’s Day 2: a wide receiver (Stribling, 33rd), an edge rusher (Romello Height, 70th), and a running back (Kaelon Black, 90th). They also traded Dee Winters to Dallas for a fifth-rounder because when you have the worst pass rush in the NFL, the move is obviously to trade away a linebacker. Lynch tried to trade out of 33 but couldn’t find a taker. Even the rest of the league is ghosting the 49ers now.

CARDINALS

Arizona drafted Carson Beck at 65. A quarterback. In the third round. The Cardinals already have Brissett (who isn’t showing up to workouts), Minshew, and Kedon Slovis. Dane Brugler said Beck’s ceiling is “pretty low.” Trevor Sikkema literally stared at the ceiling for 15 seconds on live TV when the pick was announced. One analyst was left speechless. The rest of us weren’t surprised at all.

Walter Jones is widely regarded as the greatest offensive lineman in Seahawks history. Over his 13 seasons in Seattle, he was called for holding a comically low number of times despite playing in 180 games and protecting the blind side across more than 5,700 pass attempts. The number is so absurd that it almost sounds made up. How many times was Walter Jones flagged for holding during his entire Seahawks career?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Nine. Walter Jones was penalized for holding just nine times across 180 career games and 5,703 pass attempts. He was selected to nine Pro Bowls, earned six All-Pro selections, and was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2014 in his first year of eligibility. The Seahawks acquired the sixth overall pick in 1997 by trading their 12th overall pick (which became Warrick Dunn) and a third-rounder (which became Ronde Barber) to Tampa Bay. Both sides got Hall of Fame-caliber players. Seattle got the best left tackle of his generation.

Day 3 Starts in Hours. Got Thoughts?

Two picks left. Edge rusher still unaddressed. Tell The Rooster what Schneider should do with picks 188 and 216. Best questions make the next mailbag.

Two picks left. One edge-shaped hole. Day 3 starts at nine, and the UDFA market opens right after. Schneider's not done. Go Hawks. — The Rooster