Terms of Service

Last updated: April 2026

1. What This Site Is

Seattle Seachickens is an independent satirical fan publication. All content is editorial commentary, parody, and opinion. Nothing here constitutes official news, legal advice, financial advice, or actual coaching strategy — however confident The Rooster may sound. We are not affiliated with the Seattle Seahawks, the NFL, NFL Properties LLC, or any related entity. Any resemblance to responsible journalism is coincidental.

2. Intellectual Property

The Seattle Seachickens name, logo, original artwork, and newsletter content are our intellectual property. You may share links and quote brief excerpts with attribution. You may not reproduce full newsletter issues, scrape the site for commercial use, or pass off our content as your own. That would be wrong and we would be annoyed about it.

Team names, logos, and other NFL trademarks referenced editorially belong to their respective owners. We’re fans talking about a sports team, not a licensing operation.

3. Merchandise

Merch is fulfilled by a third-party fulfillment provider. All products feature original Seachickens designs only — no NFL-licensed IP, no official Seahawks marks. Orders are subject to our fulfillment provider’s terms. We’ll do our best to sort out any issues, but production and shipping are on their end. For order problems, contact us at [email protected] and we’ll get it sorted.

Returns and exchanges: damaged or misprinted items are replaced at no cost. Buyer’s remorse on the joke t-shirt you bought at 1am after a Seahawks loss is less clear-cut. We’ll still try to help.

4. The Newsletter

The Daily Feed is sent to subscribers who opted in. You can unsubscribe at any time via the link in any email. We classify the newsletter as marketing email under CAN-SPAM and similar regulations. We won’t spam you. If you feel like we’re emailing too often, unsubscribe — no hard feelings, just sadness.

5. Limitation of Liability

We are a satire newsletter run by fans. We make no warranties about the accuracy, completeness, or fitness-for-purpose of any content on this site. We are not liable for decisions you make based on our hot takes — including but not limited to: fantasy football picks, bet placements, or telling someone at a bar that you “read it on a credible source.”

In no event will Seattle Seachickens be liable for damages of any kind arising from your use of this site. The maximum extent of our liability is a heartfelt apology and a recommendation to touch grass.

6. Changes to These Terms

We may update these terms as the site grows. Continued use of the site after an update constitutes acceptance. We’ll note the “Last updated” date at the top when changes are made.

7. Governing Law

These terms are governed by the laws of the State of Washington, without regard to its conflict of law provisions.

8. Age Restriction

This site is not directed at children under the age of 13. We do not knowingly collect personal information from children under 13.

9. Contact

Questions about these terms: [email protected]