Privacy Policy
Last updated: April 2026
The Rooster here. We keep this simple: plain language, no fine print designed to confuse you. This policy tells you exactly what we collect, why we have it, and where it goes. Short version: we’re not selling your data. We’re here to talk Seahawks, not harvest emails.
1. Who We Are
Seattle Seachickens (seachickens.com) is an independent fan-run satire publication about the Seattle Seahawks. We are not affiliated with the NFL, the Seattle Seahawks, or any related entity. We are very much affiliated with poor fourth-quarter decisions and excessive hope.
2. What We Collect
We collect only what we need to send you the newsletter and run the site:
Email address — required to subscribe to The Daily Feed.
Name (optional) — not collected at signup. You may provide it when managing your subscription preferences or as part of a purchase.
Purchase information — when you buy from the merch store, we collect the information needed to fulfill your order (name, shipping address, order details, and payment details). We do not sell this information. We share only what is necessary with third parties to complete fulfillment.
Analytics — we track page views in aggregate. Email open and click activity is tracked at the individual level by our email platform to help us understand what’s useful and manage list health. We don’t sell or share this data.
3. How We Use It
Your email is used to send The Daily Feed and occasional site announcements. Purchase information is used to process and fulfill your orders. That’s it. We don’t send third-party promotions. If a sponsor is ever mentioned in the newsletter, it will be disclosed clearly in-line — you’ll know. We don’t sell, rent, trade, or barter your data. Not even for a first-round pick.
4. Third-Party Processors
We use the following services to operate. Each has their own privacy policy:
Email delivery provider — transmits newsletter and transactional emails on our behalf.
Purchase fulfillment — receives only the information necessary to produce and ship your order.
Website and store platform — hosts the site, store, and subscriber management.
5. Cookies
We use cookies for basic site functionality (keeping you logged in to the store, remembering preferences) and analytics. If you block cookies, most of the site still works. The checkout experience may not.
6. Your Rights
You can:
Unsubscribe at any time via the link in any newsletter.
Request deletion of your data by emailing us at [email protected].
Ask what we have on you. We’ll tell you.
7. Contact
Privacy questions, data requests, or strong opinions about pass interference: [email protected]