THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #15

The Exodus Is On: Shaheed Joins Walker On The Way Out The Door, And Schneider Is Just Standing There With The Calculator

You know that feeling when you throw a great party and the next morning everyone’s grabbing their coats? That’s the Seattle Seahawks right now, except the party was a Super Bowl and the coats cost $14 million a year.

The latest: Rashid Shaheed is not close to an extension with the Seahawks, per ESPN’s Adam Schefter, and the expectation is that the electric returner and field-stretcher will test the free agent market when the legal tampering period opens Monday. This is not a negotiating tactic. This is a guy packing his bags.

Now pair that with what we already know about Kenneth Walker III — Super Bowl LX MVP, unrestricted free agent, generating enough outside interest to price himself out of Seattle — and you’ve got a Super Bowl champion hemorrhaging skill position talent four days before the phones start ringing. Shaheed’s market value sits around $14.1 million per year, per Spotrac. The Seahawks already have JSN’s mega-extension looming, Cooper Kupp at $13.5 million, and a second-year Tory Horton they clearly believe in. The math doesn’t lie. It just doesn’t care about your feelings.

Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud: Schneider is letting this happen on purpose. Shaheed’s primary value was as a returner: three kick return touchdowns in his time with Seattle, including the 95-yarder that opened the 41-6 demolition of San Francisco in the Divisional Round. As a receiver? Fifteen catches for 188 yards in nine regular season games. That’s the production of a fourth wideout being asked to command second-wideout money. And Schneider has never been the guy who pays for the moment when the moment has passed.

The Seahawks traded a fourth and fifth-round pick for Shaheed at the deadline. He helped them win a Super Bowl. If that’s a rental, it’s the greatest rental in franchise history. Sometimes you return the U-Haul and move on.

But the running back room? That’s where this gets uncomfortable. Walker is gone unless something dramatic changes. Charbonnet is on PUP and won’t do anything in the spring. The current backfield is George Holani (tendered to the minimum) and… vibes. Schneider has roughly $58 million in cap space (sixth-most in the NFL), but the JSN and Witherspoon extensions will eat a significant chunk of that. Every dollar has a job. Every dollar has three jobs, actually.

Legal tampering opens Monday. Free agency opens March 11. The Super Bowl champions are about to watch their MVP and their dynamic returner walk out the door in the same week. Schneider isn’t panicking. He’s doing math. That’s either the most reassuring thing in the world or the most terrifying. I haven’t decided yet.

SOURCES →

The Rams Just Traded For Trent McDuffie, And Brock Huard Says It’s About JSN

Keep Reading ↓

The Chiefs traded Trent McDuffie — a two-time All-Pro, a former UW Husky, a guy who literally said last August he’d want to play for the Rams if he could pick another team — to Los Angeles for the 29th overall pick, a fifth-rounder, a sixth-rounder, and a 2027 third. McDuffie is expected to sign a long-term extension that makes him the highest-paid cornerback in the NFL. This is fine. Everything is fine.

Seattle Sports’ Brock Huard didn’t mince words: he called the trade a “direct move” to match up with Jaxon Smith-Njigba and the Seahawks. And he’s right. The Rams watched JSN shred their secondary in two regular season games and the NFC Championship and decided the appropriate response was to go get the best corner available. That’s respect wrapped in hostility, which is basically the NFC West in a nutshell.

The trade also means the Rams, who proposed a rule change to outlaw the Zachwards Pass, are now investing first-round capital to beat a team they’re also trying to legislate against. Incredible energy. Truly historic levels of pettiness. We salute it.

For Seahawks fans, the takeaway is simple: the division isn’t sitting still. The Rams are going all-in on the Stafford window. San Francisco is desperate for pass rushers. Arizona is looking at Jimmy Garoppolo, so they’re doing their thing. But Seattle’s title defense starts with the understanding that everyone in this division is coming for them, and the Rams just fired the first shot.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

Trey Hendrickson wants Tampa. ESPN’s Adam Schefter said on Pardon My Take that Hendrickson would “love to be in Tampa” because he lives in Ponte Vedra and, you know, no state income tax. Washington state also has no income tax, for the record. We do have rain. And existential dread about the edge rusher position. We’re fine. Yardbarker

Field Gulls’ daily prediction: The Seahawks blog is now running a daily countdown of which free agent re-signs next, and today’s bet is cornerback Josh Jobe. Brock Huard also called Jobe the most likely Seahawk to be retained. Between Jobe and the Holani/Okada tenders, Schneider’s offseason so far can be summarized as: “We’re keeping the depth guys. The stars can see themselves out.” Field Gulls

The Chiefs now own picks No. 9 AND No. 29 in April’s draft after the McDuffie trade. Brett Veach pulled the exact same move in 2022 when he traded Tyreek Hill and used the picks to draft… Trent McDuffie. The circle of NFL life is beautiful and deeply, deeply cynical. CBS Sports

DeMarcus Lawrence retirement watch continues. ESPN’s Brady Henderson reports that neither the Seahawks nor Lawrence’s camp have clarity on his plans. The man is 34, has a ring, and has two years left on his deal. If D-Law walks away, Schneider’s edge rusher room is Derick Hall, Rylie Mills, and a prayer candle shaped like a football. Field Gulls

RAMS

The Rams traded for Trent McDuffie — the best corner in the league, a former Husky, and apparently the answer to their JSN nightmares — and it’s going to cost them their first-round pick, three more picks, and what projects to be the richest CB contract in NFL history. This is the ninth time in ten years the Rams have traded their own first-rounder. They collect first-round picks like I collect reasons to dislike the Rams. Also: they’re still trying to get the Zachwards Pass banned. Imagine trading four picks to beat a team AND petitioning the league to change the rules because that team beat you. Masterclass in acknowledging superiority.

NINERS

The Brandon Aiyuk saga is mercifully approaching its conclusion. The 49ers voided $27 million in guarantees after Aiyuk essentially ghosted the team during the 2025 season, and GM John Lynch confirmed he’s played his last snap as a Niner. He’ll be released or traded — LOL, traded — when the new league year opens March 11. Meanwhile, the 49ers finished 2025 with a league-worst 20 sacks. Twenty. Rylie Mills had more impact in five Super Bowl snaps than most of San Francisco’s edge rushers had all season. The Niners are now eyeing Trey Hendrickson to fix their pass rush, which is like trying to fix a collapsing house by buying a really nice door.

CARDINALS

The Arizona Cardinals are reportedly interested in signing Jimmy Garoppolo as their quarterback. Jimmy Garoppolo. In 2026. A league source told ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler that LaFleur is “very close” with Garoppolo and that he’s “his guy.” His guy! Jimmy G hasn’t thrown a meaningful pass since the Obama administration had a sequel, and the Cardinals are calling him their guy. They also still have to release Kyler Murray ($36.8 million in dead cap) and figure out whether they’re drafting a QB at No. 3. This franchise is the “we have food at home” meme of the NFC West, and the food at home is a 34-year-old backup quarterback from the Rams.

On this date — March 5, 1975 — the Seahawks hired their first-ever general manager, a former University of Washington executive. Who was he?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

John Thompson. He was hired on March 5, 1975 as the GM of the then-unnamed Seattle franchise, three months before the team was officially named the ‘Seahawks’ following a public contest that drew over 20,000 entries.

1975

The Seahawks Hire Their First General Manager

On March 5, 1975, John Thompson — a former University of Washington executive and former Executive Director of the NFL Management Council — was hired as the first general manager of Seattle’s NFL franchise. The team didn’t even have a name yet. That wouldn’t come until June 17, 1975, when ‘Seahawks’ was chosen from a public contest that drew more than 20,000 entries. Fifty-one years later, the franchise he helped build just won its second Super Bowl.

What happens to the team sale if the WA millionaires tax passes?

— Tax Bracket Terry in Tacoma

Tax Bracket Terry! My favorite kind of unhinged. Let’s do this.

First, some context: the Paul Allen Trust is selling 100% of the Seattle Seahawks. Allen & Co. and Latham & Watkins are managing the process, and Washington state’s proposed millionaire tax is reportedly already complicating the buyer pool. A franchise sale of this magnitude (likely north of $4 billion) means any buyer is looking at the total cost of ownership, and state tax policy is part of that equation.

If the millionaires tax passes, it could theoretically narrow the field of buyers willing to keep the team in Washington state. The NFL requires team owners to be based in the market where the team plays, so you can’t just buy the Seahawks and file your taxes from Texas. That said, NFL franchise values have been appreciating at absurd rates. We’re talking about an asset that prints money regardless of the tax environment. Someone will buy this team. The question is whether the pool of desirable buyers gets smaller.

The sale doesn’t affect day-to-day operations. Schneider and Macdonald are running the football side as if nothing is happening, because for them, nothing is. The ownership situation is above their pay grade — literally the only thing in the NFL above a GM’s pay grade.

Short answer: the team gets sold regardless. The tax might change who buys it, but it won’t change whether someone buys it. These things have a way of working themselves out when the asset is worth more than the GDP of some small countries. Sleep easy, Terry. Relatively.

Got A Question That Keeps You Up At 2 AM?

Drop it in the mailbag. We’ll answer it with too many words and exactly the right amount of sarcasm. Salary cap math, draft conspiracies, which NFC West rival is the most embarrassing — we take it all.

See you tomorrow. — The Rooster