THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #94

ISSUE #94

The Domino FallsStafford's deal just cleared the runway for Nacua. JSN's record has a shelf life.

Stafford Got His Money. Now the Nacua Clock Is Ticking on JSN’s Record.

The boulder just moved. Matthew Stafford and the Rams agreed to a one-year, $55 million extension on Thursday, per ESPN’s Adam Schefter. The deal can reach $60 million with incentives and ties the reigning NFL MVP to Los Angeles through the 2027 season.

$55M

Stafford’s one-year extension, clearing the path for Nacua’s deal.

That matters here because Stafford’s renegotiation was the one thing standing between Puka Nacua and the receiver market’s next nuclear event. The Rams were never going to let their wideout out-earn their quarterback, even briefly. Now that Stafford is locked in at roughly $52.5 million per year, the Nacua extension can finally move forward. And when it does, JSN’s $42.15 million per year will be the number Nacua’s camp uses as a floor, not a ceiling.

Rambling Fan projects Nacua’s deal at $43 million AAV or higher. Turf Show Times floated a five-year deal north of $200 million. A to Z Sports noted Nacua is only 25 and “has been insanely productive, with 4,191 yards and 19 touchdowns over three seasons.” The Rams have the cap space. The question was always timing, and Stafford just answered it.

Stafford was the boulder on the railroad tracks. Now that he’s moved, the Nacua train is coming straight for JSN’s record.

For Seattle, this is the cost of setting the market. Schneider and JSN got their deal done in March at the perfect moment. If Nacua eclipses $42.15 million, JSN’s number still holds as the record that forced every other receiver negotiation upward. The Seahawks got theirs done first. That was the whole point.

SOURCES →

Teasley Is a Finalist. The Vikings Want Him After Memorial Day.

Keep Reading ↓

Jones noted that Teasley “is the only one lacking obvious Minnesota ties” but that he “came highly recommended by Seahawks GM John Schneider.” Teasley has been with the organization since 2013, when he walked in as a scouting intern. Thirteen years later, he could walk out as the man who rebuilt Minnesota.

The silver lining is real: if the Vikings hire Teasley, the Seahawks receive a compensatory third-round pick in each of the next two drafts, per ESPN’s Brady Henderson. Schneider would get two extra Day 2 picks and a reason to promote from within. Brock Huard put it plainly on Seattle Sports: Schneider “cultivates his front office so that when a Nolan Teasley is lost, you move someone up.”

2

Compensatory third-round picks Seattle would receive if Teasley is hired.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

The Seahawks brought in Stanford sleep physician Dr. Cheri Mah to lecture the rookies for an hour. Her closing line: “Sleep is a weapon.” Macdonald’s edge-chasing now extends to REM cycles. Seahawks.com Seahawks.com

SI on Seahawks says Bud Clark might serve a bigger purpose as a backup than as a starter, with his versatility fitting multiple defensive roles. The Okada-Clark safety battle is training camp’s best subplot. SI on Seahawks SI on Seahawks

Emerald City Spectrum previewed the offensive position battles heading into OTAs: guard and receiver depth are the two main competitions with few starting jobs truly up for grabs. Four days. Emerald City Spectrum Emerald City Spectrum

Field Gulls is already asking whether the Seahawks can build a dynasty. Their latest podcast title: “Can the Seattle Seahawks build the NFL’s next dynasty?” Bold for May. Correct for May. Field Gulls Field Gulls

RAMS

Stafford got his $55 million, and the Rams immediately started sweating about everything else. Nacua, Kobie Turner, Byron Young, Steve Avila — all extension-eligible, all watching the cap shrink. Rambling Fan laid out the math: paying Nacua at $43 million AAV on top of Stafford’s raise pushes the Rams’ cash spending to 20% above the salary cap. Turner, Young, and Avila will likely be told to wait another year. The Rams drafted Ty Simpson 13th overall to eventually replace the 38-year-old they just gave $55 million. That’s not a plan. That’s a prayer with a succession timeline.

NINERS

The 49ers have $71 million in cap space and nothing to spend it on. They signed Trent Williams to a two-year, $50 million deal that dropped his cap hit from $46 million to $20 million, per OverTheCap. Then they used the savings to sign Vederian Lowe and draft a fifth-round tackle. Their biggest receiver acquisition this offseason is Christian Kirk. Niners Nation pointed out the uncomfortable math: San Francisco goes from first in cap space to negative $15.6 million in 2027. They’re rich now and broke later, which is basically the plot of every VH1 documentary.

CARDINALS

The Cardinals spent the third overall pick and $54 million on Jeremiyah Love, then put him on kickoff return duty on Day 1 of OTAs. LaFleur told local radio: “Jeremiyah is a running back. We know that. But you never know.” Brissett is still absent. Minshew is running with the ones. Carson Beck is apparently “running his own race,” which at this point sounds like a euphemism for standing in the parking lot. Love had three career kickoff returns at Notre Dame, where his teammate Jadarian Price handled those duties. The Cardinals are literally giving their $54 million back the job his former college backup used to do.

Eric Saubert caught a game-winning two-point conversion in overtime against the Rams in Week 16 of the 2025 season, clinching the Seahawks’ first playoff berth since 2022. How many NFL teams had Saubert played for before arriving in Seattle?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Seven. Saubert had been a member of the Falcons, Bears, Raiders, Jaguars, Broncos, Cowboys, Texans, and 49ers before signing with Seattle, making the Seahawks his eighth team in nine NFL seasons. The man had more W-2s than receptions.

Got a Question? Got a Take? Got a Grudge?

Send your burning Seahawks questions, spicy takes, and offseason anxieties to The Mailbag. I read every one. I answer the best ones. I judge all of them.

Four days until OTAs. The Rams just made everything more expensive. The culture holds. Go Hawks. — The Rooster