THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #25

DeMarcus Lawrence Is Still Out There Partying. His Former Teammate Says That’s Actually A Good Sign.

Johnathan Hankins played alongside DeMarcus Lawrence in Dallas for two seasons. He knows the man. And when he went on Seattle Sports’ Brock and Salk this week, he didn’t sound like someone delivering a eulogy.

“I believe he’s still out there partying, enjoying” the Super Bowl win, Hankins said of Lawrence. Which, okay, that tracks. The man just won his first ring at 33, welcomed his sixth child, and has $140 million in career earnings. If you’re not partying after that, you’re broken inside.

But Hankins went further. He talked about the culture Macdonald has built, the resources, the hunger in that locker room. “You play the game this long, it’s kinda hard to just walk away,” Hankins said. “And to be around guys that’s hungry and want to get to the Super Bowl and win and be better, that’s a feeling that it’s kind of hard to just walk away.”

That’s the most optimistic read anyone has offered on Lawrence’s situation in weeks. Brady Henderson’s original report called retirement “a very real question” and noted that even Lawrence’s own camp wasn’t sure what he was planning. Lawrence’s $5 million guarantee already vested after the Super Bowl, meaning retirement barely helps the cap. The Seahawks would eat $4.76 million in dead money, with $2.63 million hitting 2026.

Here’s what makes this more than a feel-good quote: the edge rusher room can’t afford to lose him. Boye Mafe signed with Cincinnati. Trey Hendrickson went to Baltimore. Khalil Mack is a Charger. Jonathan Greenard is being circled by the Eagles, who per The Athletic’s Dianna Russini “continue to inquire” and are already talking extension with his agent. If Philly closes that deal, Seattle’s edge room is Uchenna Nwosu (who might still get cut), Derick Hall, and vibes.

Lawrence finished 2025 with 6.0 sacks, 11 tackles for loss, three forced fumbles, and two fumble return touchdowns. He added 2.0 sacks and three forced fumbles in the playoffs. According to Pro Football Focus, he ranked No. 2 out of 119 edge rushers in run defense grading. He was, in a very real sense, the player that made the Super Bowl defense work.

Nobody is asking Lawrence to announce anything on a Sunday in March. But every day that passes without a retirement filing is a day the Seahawks can keep telling themselves this defense has a chance to run it back. Hankins sounds like a guy who thinks his friend isn’t done yet. Let’s hope he’s right, because the backup plan is drafting one at No. 32 and praying.

SOURCES →

Seattle Signed Two Cornerbacks Yesterday. One Is A Former First-Rounder. The Other Spent All Of 2025 On The Practice Squad.

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So John Schneider did what John Schneider does: he found two guys nobody else wanted and brought them home. First, cornerback Shemar Jean-Charles re-signed on a one-year deal. Jean-Charles spent the entire 2025 season on the practice squad after a lower-body injury caused him to miss the preseason. He was a fifth-round pick of the Packers back in 2021 and has bounced through Green Bay, New Orleans, and San Francisco. The Seahawks liked him enough to keep him on the practice squad all year, which is either a vote of confidence or a reflection of how thin the market is.

Then the bigger move: former first-round pick Noah Igbinoghene agreed to a one-year deal, per The Athletic’s Michael-Shawn Dugar. Igbinoghene was the 30th overall pick by Miami in 2020. He’s 26 years old. He has started 17 career games. Pro Football Focus gave him a 54.4 coverage grade in 2025 and a career 38.9 coverage grade, which are numbers that explain why a former first-round pick is signing depth deals with the defending champs.

But there’s a reason to squint and see something here. Igbinoghene started 10 games for Washington in 2024, played 76 percent of the defensive snaps, and started their divisional playoff upset at Detroit. He’s not a finished product. He’s a project with athletic tools that got him drafted in the top 30 and NFL experience that includes meaningful postseason snaps. For a depth signing behind Witherspoon and Jobe, you can do worse. The Seahawks now have five corners on the roster, which qualifies as progress even if it doesn’t qualify as exciting.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

Alvin Kamara trade buzz isn’t dying. ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported teams are “tracking and wondering” about Kamara’s availability after New Orleans signed Travis Etienne to a four-year, $52 million deal. Saints coach Kellen Moore dodged a question about Kamara’s future on Thursday. Seattle Sports’ Stacy Rost made the case for a Seahawks trade, noting Kamara wouldn’t cost much in draft capital. The man is 30, coming off 471 rushing yards and an MCL sprain. But he had 1,493 yards from scrimmage just one year ago. For a team whose RB1 right now is Emanuel Wilson, “low-cost vintage Kamara” sounds a lot better than “George Holani and a prayer.” Heavy

The Greenard sweepstakes remain unresolved heading into the weekend. Per Pro Football Rumors, the Eagles are still making trade calls and discussing a potential extension with Greenard’s agent, Drew Rosenhaus. The Colts, Cowboys, Eagles, and Seahawks are all confirmed in the mix at a Day 2 pick price. The Vikings’ $4 million guarantee on Greenard’s base salary was set to vest on the fifth day of the new league year. Tick, tick, tick. If Philly closes this, Seattle’s edge depth chart reads like a haiku about sadness. Pro Football Rumors

SI on Seahawks reports that Emanuel Wilson is already on the hot seat before playing a single snap. SI notes the Seahawks haven’t committed to Wilson as the long-term answer, pointing to free agency, trades, and the draft as additional avenues. The man signed his deal five days ago. He hasn’t even gotten his locker assignment yet. Welcome to Seattle, where your job security lasts approximately as long as a sunny afternoon in February. SI

Seattle still has roughly $31 million in cap space, the ninth-most in the league, per SI. The site floated Joe Mixon as a possible one-year prove-it signing at $4 to $6 million. Mixon is 30 and coming off a serious injury, which is apparently the running back profile Schneider is collecting this offseason like Pokémon cards. Gotta catch ’em all, as long as they’re old and limping. SI

RAMS

Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp were spotted working out together, with Kupp posting a video captioned “back to work.” Which is either a cute friendship moment or a signal that the Seahawks’ $13.5 million receiver is already studying film for the wrong team’s offense. Meanwhile, the Rams still haven’t extended Nacua, whose Spotrac market value sits at $38.5 million per year. Rams GM Les Snead said he’s looking for a “win-win solution,” which is executive-speak for “please don’t make me pay more than Ja’Marr Chase.” The Rams also hired Kliff Kingsbury as assistant head coach, because when you think “Super Bowl contender,” you think “the guy who went 28-37-1 in Arizona.”

NINERS

The 49ers finished 2025 with a league-low 20 sacks. Their response has been to sign Mike Evans (32, played eight games last year) to a three-year, $60.4 million deal, trade a third-round pick for Osa Odighizuwa, and bring back Dre Greenlaw on a one-year deal after he appeared in just 10 games since tearing his Achilles in Super Bowl LVIII. ESPN noted Greenlaw’s “lengthy injury history only got worse” during his year in Denver. Kyle Shanahan’s offseason strategy is just the Island of Misfit Toys with a bigger budget. Nick Bosa is coming off a torn ACL. Their defensive end Bryce Huff retired. But sure, Nate Hobbs and an extended kicker will fix everything.

CARDINALS

Today is March 15. You know what was supposed to happen today? A $19.5 million guarantee on Kyler Murray’s 2027 salary would have vested. Arizona released him before it could trigger, because apparently the one thing this franchise executes cleanly is cost avoidance. Murray signed a minimum deal with the Vikings, and the Cardinals’ answer at quarterback is Jacoby Brissett (1-11 as a starter in 2025) and Gardner Minshew, who signed for $5.75 million after the team’s talks with Jimmy Garoppolo “hit a snag.” Minshew is now on his sixth NFL team. Arizona’s 2025 record was 3-14. This is a franchise that is actively trying to lose the 2026 season to position itself for Arch Manning in 2027, and honestly, respect the commitment.

Bobby Wagner became the Seahawks’ all-time leading tackler in 2019, surpassing a safety who spent 11 seasons in Seattle and recorded 984 career tackles. Who held the franchise tackles record before Wagner broke it?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Eugene Robinson. Wagner passed Robinson’s mark of 984 career tackles with his 985th tackle during a Week 8 win at Atlanta in October 2019. Wagner was drafted in the second round of the 2012 NFL Draft and went on to record 1,381 career tackles as a Seahawk.

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See you tomorrow. — The Rooster