THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #145

ISSUE #145

The Champs Just Sold For $9.6 BillionA record NFL price, a 49ers minority owner as the buyer, and the end of the Allen era

BREAKING

The Seahawks Have Been Sold for a Record $9.6 BillionRead More →

The Champs Have New Owners, and $9.6 Billion Just Changed Hands

It happened. The Paul Allen estate has agreed to sell the Seattle Seahawks to a group led by billionaire Vinod Khosla, and the price is the largest ever paid for an NFL franchise. Seven months after we watched the confetti fall at Levi’s Stadium, the team has a new steward for the first time in three decades.

$9.612B

The reported sale price, a record for an NFL franchise and well past the $6.05B the Commanders fetched in 2023.

Here is the part that is going to sit funny in your stomach: Khosla joined the 49ers ownership group in 2025, buying a slice of San Francisco at a valuation north of $8.5 billion. To own us, he has to divest that stake. The man writing the biggest check in league history spent last summer buying a piece of the team we bounced from the NFC Championship. Read that twice, then go outside.

The football side should be fine, and that matters more than the sticker shock. Khosla built Khosla Ventures on early bets on OpenAI, DoorDash and Instacart, and his firm’s stated philosophy is that once you pick a management team, you back it and don’t second-guess it. For a fan base that just watched Jody Allen run a light-touch, don’t-break-what-works operation all the way to a Lombardi, that is the most reassuring sentence in the whole announcement. Nobody is coming for Schneider and Macdonald.

The man writing the biggest check in league history spent last summer buying a piece of the team we bounced from the NFC Championship.

The estate is doing what Paul Allen’s will always said it would: selling his sports assets to benefit charitable causes. The Trail Blazers already went for $4.1 billion. Now the Seahawks close the book on the Allen era at a number that would have sounded like a typo when he bought the team out of relocation limbo in 1997.

When the banner goes up against New England in September, it won’t be an Allen holding the trophy. It’ll be a Silicon Valley VC who owes his football fortune to a firm whose motto is ‘brutal honesty over hypocritical politeness.’ Welcome to Seattle. We’ll see how honest you are the first time we lose to the Rams.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

The deal still needs owner approval and comes with real strings: a $1.5 billion debt limit, a 30% minimum equity stake for the control owner, and no more than 24 minority partners. So no, you cannot pool your fantasy league winnings and buy in. I checked. Sportico

Not everyone’s throwing a parade. Plenty of fans called the 49ers connection an ‘utter joke’ the second the news dropped. Look, I get it. But the divestment is mandatory, and I’d rather have a hands-off tech billionaire than someone who wants to draw up the goal-line package himself. Yardbarker

Zach Charbonnet’s ACL rehab is ‘progressing well’ with a late-July check-up on the calendar, per ESPN’s Jeremy Fowler. That waypoint lands right as camp opens on the 25th. Translation: cautiously optimistic, probably still a PUP body when Week 1 arrives. Jadarian Price should keep his engine warm. Yahoo Sports

RAMS

The whole league is watching Aaron Donald’s driveway. He’s now been spotted fueling comeback speculation around a Rams return at 35, two years after retiring. The betting Super Bowl favorite already imported Myles Garrett and Trent McDuffie, and now they’re trying to reanimate a Hall of Famer. When you lose a conference title game to Seattle, apparently the fix is to raid a cemetery.

NINERS

A Yahoo season preview named the single scariest thing about San Francisco’s year: if 38-year-old Trent Williams misses any real time, the line collapses behind a depth chart of young, unproven reserves like Austen Pleasants and Carver Willis. Their entire Super Bowl window is riding on one 38-year-old’s hamstrings. Nothing says stable like a load-bearing left tackle old enough to have blocked for guys who are now retired.

Which future Hall of Fame receiver did the expansion Seahawks acquire from the Houston Oilers in 1976 for just an eighth-round draft pick, after Houston decided it had enough receivers?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Steve Largent. Houston drafted him in the fourth round, nearly cut him after four preseason games, then dealt him to Seattle for an eighth-rounder. He retired with 100 touchdown catches and became the first Seahawk enshrined in Canton. Worst trade the Oilers ever made.

Got a Question for The Rooster?

New owner, same inbox. Send me your best question about the sale, the roster, or whatever’s keeping you up at night 18 days from camp. The good ones get answered right here.

Thirteen days to camp, and the birds just got the biggest price tag in the history of the sport. — The Rooster