THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #3

Will Coby Bryant Stay or Go? The Seahawks’ Most Important Free Agent You’re Not Talking About Enough

Everyone is losing sleep over KW3. Riq Woolen is posting cryptic GIFs. But the name Field Gulls and Seattle Sports are putting at the top of the re-sign priority list this week is Coby Bryant — safety, Super Bowl champion, and a player whose versatility quietly held Seattle’s secondary together every single time Devon Witherspoon or someone else needed a breather.

The case for keeping him is straightforward: the Seahawks are about to lose starters at cornerback and possibly running back simultaneously. Paying a veteran safety who can play multiple spots, knows the system, and just won a ring at a reasonable mid-tier price is exactly the kind of quiet, unglamorous good decision that separates championship-caliber front offices from everyone else. John Schneider has made these calls before. Field Gulls is specifically bumping this as the priority re-sign of the week, and honestly, they’re right.

The new league year opens March 11. That’s eighteen days. The clock is not whispering anymore.

SOURCES →

So What Are the Seahawks Actually Worth? Mike Florio Has Thoughts. Many Thoughts.

Keep Reading ↓

The Paul Allen Trust is selling 100% of the equity in a team that just won the Super Bowl, plays in one of the fastest-growing metro areas in America, and whose fanbase is so loud they’ve measured it on the Richter scale. Whatever number you’ve seen floating around, $6.7 billion, $6.59 billion, Florio’s take is simple: forget it. The final number will be higher, and the more billionaires who show up to bid, the higher it goes. Auction theory, baby. This is why Jeff Bezos not showing up actually matters.

SOURCES →

“Stamped in History”: The Seahawks’ 2025 Defense Was Actually, Genuinely, Historically Great

Keep Reading ↓

In the Super Bowl alone they put up 6 sacks, 2 interceptions (one returned for a TD), a forced fumble, 8 tackles for loss, and held New England to 78 yards and 5 first downs through three quarters. Leonard Williams was reportedly “a little upset” they allowed 13 points at all. The man wanted a goose egg in the Super Bowl. We love him. The entire unit is a treasure and free agency is about to try to disassemble parts of it starting March 11. Please enjoy the memory of this defense while it lasts.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

The 2026 NFL Combine opens Monday in Indianapolis. Seattle picks 30th and has significant needs at CB and edge rusher. Start memorizing cornerback names. You’re going to need them. Seahawks.com

Running back Zach Charbonnet is getting good news on his injury recovery ahead of the 2026 season, per Sports Illustrated. If KW3 walks, Charbonnet suddenly becomes very important. Good time to be healthy, Zach. SI

The Arizona Cardinals are reportedly exploring trading Kyler Murray, per Adam Schefter. Just let that marinate. The NFC West in 2026 could feature the reigning champion Seahawks, a rebuilding Cardinals team without their franchise QB, a Rams team in a quarter-zip, and the Niners in therapy. Good conference. Field Gulls

New OC Brian Fleury told media this week he wants the Seahawks offense to be “fast, violent, and aggressive” — which is either an excellent offensive philosophy or a description of a Pike Place Market seagull stealing your chowder. Either way, we’re in. Field Gulls / ESPN

RAMS

The Rams are trying to figure out how to “shore up defensive inconsistencies” this offseason, per Turf Show Times. Meanwhile the Seahawks just fielded the 8th-best defense in recorded NFL history. This is fine for the Rams. They’re fine. Everything is fine.

NINERS

Per Niners Nation, the 49ers are monitoring Dolphins safety Minkah Fitzpatrick after Miami’s fire sale this week. So San Francisco’s offseason plan is apparently to acquire players from teams that are falling apart, which is a strategy, we suppose. Brock Purdy continues to have a great personality. We wish him nothing but mediocrity.

CARDINALS

The Cardinals reportedly want to trade Kyler Murray, which would be an incredible development for literally everyone in the NFC West except Cardinals fans. Arizona also has the lowest projected 2026 win total in the NFL tied for last place. These two facts are related.

The Seahawks’ 2025 defense held opponents scoreless through three full quarters in the Super Bowl. What was New England’s final score, and who scored their only touchdown?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

The Patriots scored 13 points. New England’s only touchdown came in the fourth quarter, ending Seattle’s bid for the first Super Bowl shutout in history. Leonard Williams was, reportedly, annoyed.

Is it actually possible to keep KW3, Woolen, Coby Bryant, AND extend JSN? Or do I need to start grieving?

— Financially Anxious in Fremont

Dear Anxious: You should start grieving, but not for all of them. With $62 million in cap space, Seattle can be aggressive, but JSN’s extension will likely eat a significant chunk, and KW3 is going to command Super Bowl MVP money on the open market. The honest math probably gets you two of the four at top dollar. The good news is that John Schneider has historically been very good at finding mid-round gems to replace stars who leave (see: the entire Legion of Boom replacement program). The bad news is that the replacements are never as fun as the originals. Start with the grief. Work toward acceptance. Then trust the process.

Got a take? A question? A bone to pick?

Send us your burning questions, hot takes, or evidence that the Rams are actually fine. We will read all submissions and respond to the most interesting ones.

See you tomorrow. — The Rooster