THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #8

SCHNEIDER GOES TO INDY, PLAYS COMPLETELY DUMB ABOUT KW3, AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT

John Schneider held court at the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis on Tuesday, and when a reporter tried to ask him whether the Seahawks might use the franchise tag on Super Bowl MVP Kenneth Walker III, Schneider responded with the energy of a man who had just discovered his hearing had mysteriously and selectively failed. “That’s a good try, Bob,” he said, adding, “I couldn’t hear you,” before chuckling at his own bit. The assembled press corps laughed. Walker’s agent did not.

Per ESPN’s Adam Schefter, the Seahawks are unlikely to use either a franchise or transition tag on Walker, who earned his second contract by rushing for 135 yards and two touchdowns in the Super Bowl. The tag window is open through March 3, five days from now, and then KW3 becomes an unrestricted free agent heading into March 12. Schneider confirmed the team wants Walker back, describing the offseason challenge as figuring out “the puzzle” with their cap space, while simultaneously needing to re-sign a half-dozen key pieces and potentially extend both JSN and Witherspoon. It is, in Schneider’s own words, “a challenge.” The good news is that Walker himself has said, “If it was my choice, I’d definitely stay.” The bad news is that it is absolutely not just his choice, and the Jaguars, Jets, Panthers, and Chiefs all have running back needs and money to spend. The clock is ticking and the combine podium jokes are not going to close this deal.

SOURCES →

IT’S DL/LB DAY AT THE COMBINE, AND THE SEAHAWKS HAVE A VERY SPECIFIC SHOPPING LIST

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DeMarcus Lawrence, who turns 34 in April, is a legitimate retirement candidate after finally winning his first ring, and people close to him reportedly don’t even know which way he’s leaning. Boye Mafe, whose 2025 season ended with 2.0 sacks despite solid pressure numbers, is unlikely to be re-signed. Derick Hall and Uchenna Nwosu are solid returning pieces, but “solid” and “Super Bowl pass rush” are different things. The combine is where Schneider has historically found value — Nick Emmanwori last year is the canonical example of a standout workout changing a pick’s trajectory. There are edge rushers worth watching today. Whether Seattle uses their first pick on one of them, targets a veteran in free agency (Jaelan Phillips has been floated at $17.3M/yr projected), or just lets Rylie Mills be extremely large on the inside and figures the rest out later, that’s the puzzle Schneider actually is thinking about right now, even if he’s busy not hearing tag questions.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

The Seahawks signed defensive end Jalan Gaines to the roster this week, which is the kind of move that exists entirely so that future Seahawks fans can answer trivia questions about the 2026 offseason roster. Seahawks.com Seahawks.com

Reminder that the JSN and Witherspoon fifth-year option deadline is May 1, which feels far away until you remember the KW3 situation also needs to be resolved by March 12. Schneider is solving a 1,000-piece puzzle during a power outage. Field Gulls Field Gulls

The White House still has not invited the Super Bowl champion Seahawks for the traditional visit, which is either a logistical oversight or performance art. Either way, Lumen Field has a much nicer snack spread anyway. Seattle Today Seattle Today

Brady Henderson of ESPN reports that D-Law’s retirement is “a very real question” and that people in his own camp don’t know which way he’s leaning. Which means either D-Law is the most zen person in the NFL right now, or he’s very good at not answering questions. Bit of a Schneider protégé move, honestly. Field Gulls Field Gulls

RAMS

Sean McVay and company, still unable to locate closure, have formally announced plans to propose NFL rule changes aimed at retroactively making the Zachwards Pass not count. To review: the Seahawks’ backward-pass-off-a-helmet-recovered-by-a-nonchalant-Charbonnet play helped swing the Week 16 game, gave Seattle the No. 1 seed, set up the NFC Championship at Lumen Field, and ended with Los Angeles watching the Super Bowl from their couch. The Rams’ proposed fix: make the play illegal. The Seahawks’ response: they’re putting a second Lombardi in a trophy case that previously held one Lombardi. Some things cannot be legislated away, Sean.

NINERS

The 49ers are locked in a competitive offseason battle to determine which of their many expensive problems to not solve first. Brock Purdy, a man who has won exactly zero Super Bowls despite being on the most talented roster in the NFC for three consecutive years, reportedly remains their starting quarterback. Nothing has changed.

CARDINALS

The Cardinals have a good young quarterback and a head coach who appears to genuinely believe that watching Kyler Murray play is something people want to do. In fairness to them, their fans keep showing up. In fairness to us, that’s only because the weather in Arizona is nice and it beats sitting at home.

In John Schneider’s 16-year tenure as Seahawks GM, how many times has he used the franchise tag — and on whom?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Twice. Kicker Olindo Mare in 2010 ($2.8M, which is not a typo) and defensive end Frank Clark in 2019 — Clark was later traded to Kansas City before ever playing a snap on the tag. In other words, Schneider tagged a 37-year-old kicker and then traded the one player he actually tagged who mattered. The man contains multitudes.

“Will Schneider use any of the cap space on a veteran QB backup or just roll with whoever is behind Geno?”

— — Cap Space Carl in Capitol Hill

Carl, buddy — Geno Smith hasn’t been on this team in a while. The man behind center who just won Super Bowl LX MVP and led three fourth-quarter comeback drives in the playoffs is Sam Darnold. He’s 28, he’s got a ring, he’s got a city. Geno’s probably on a beach somewhere watching the parade highlights and feeling complicated about it.

To your actual question, which is a good one: the Seahawks currently have $63.6 million in estimated cap space, which sounds like a lot until you remember they need to re-sign KW3 (market price: significant), extend JSN (market price: astronomical), extend Witherspoon (market price: very good), and address the edge rusher situation. After all that, the backup QB slot is likely to be filled with a competent veteran on a prove-it deal rather than anyone who’d cost real money. Think someone in the $3–5M range, a journeyman who won’t cause problems and whose job is mostly to hand Darnold his coffee and be ready just in case. The Seahawks historically don’t overpay for backups. That’s part of the philosophy. The puzzle has many pieces; backup QB is the corner piece you set aside and grab at the end.

Got a question for the nest?

Send your Seahawks takes, concerns, conspiracy theories, and KW3 contract projections to the mailbag. We read everything and judge most of it charitably.

See you tomorrow. — The Rooster