THE DAILY FEED

The Finest Seahawks Satire Freshly Laid Every Morning


ISSUE #120

ISSUE #120

He’s The General NowDarnold closed the offseason as the unquestioned leader of a Super Bowl offense — and the building knows it.

Sam Darnold Walked Off the Practice Field as the General

The offseason program is done, the players are scattering for six weeks, and the last image anyone took away from the VMAC was Sam Darnold running a precision offense that the entire building has quietly ceded to him. Seattle Sports’ Brock Huard came off the final practice and didn’t hedge: “Sam Darnold is awesome.” The praise that mattered came next.

Huard’s point wasn’t the highlight reel. It was the command. “You watch the precision, the timing, accuracy, command, he’s the general, this is his team, and everybody knows it,” he said. “And that’s a nice place to be for a franchise.” Read that line back and remember where we were twelve months ago, when half of us were bracing for the version of Darnold who threw the interception at exactly the wrong time.

That guy won a Super Bowl. This is the part people still haven’t fully metabolized. The reclamation project is over, the redemption arc closed in Santa Clara, and what’s left is just a good quarterback doing the boring, unglamorous work of owning a huddle in June. Brian Fleury is his seventh coordinator in six years and the install went so smoothly Darnold barely mentioned it.

7

Offensive coordinators Darnold has had in six seasons. Fleury is the latest, and the install barely registered.

Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud because it sounds like a jinx: there is no quarterback drama in Seattle. None. After the Russell Wilson years, the Geno years, the will-they-won’t-they of every offseason since 2013, the most stable position on this roster is the one that usually causes ulcers. Enjoy it. We don’t get many of these.

SOURCES →

The Darkside Wants to Get Meaner

Keep Reading ↓

There’s a contract subplot worth keeping in your back pocket. Williams turned 32 this month and is in the final year of his deal. PFF flagged him as a 2026 extension candidate, which is the kind of thing that’s easy to wave off in June and impossible to ignore by November. He was second-team All-Pro last year. If Schneider doesn’t get something done, somebody else writes the check.

32

Leonard Williams turned 32 this month, in the final year of his deal and flagged by PFF as a 2026 extension candidate.

For now it’s all good vibes and a defensive line that returns nearly intact. The only real loss up front was Boye Mafe to Cincinnati, and the interior duo of Williams and Byron Murphy II is back to terrorize guards. The Darkside is a goofy nickname. The 3.7 yards per carry they allowed last year is not.

SOURCES →

Around the Coop

Brock Huard wasn’t the only one impressed by the QB room — but the broader takeaway from the final practice was a roster that treated voluntary work like it was mandatory. Defending champions are supposed to coast in June. This group didn’t get the memo, which is either a great sign or a sign they need a hobby. Yahoo Sports

A post-minicamp 53-man roster projection dropped with surprisingly few big names on the bubble, which is what happens when basically your entire championship roster comes back. The drama this camp won’t be who makes it. It’ll be who has to be cut to make room. SI

The Todd Boehly chatter pushed the projected sale price toward $9 billion — a number that would shatter the NFL record. The Dodgers-Lakers-Chelsea guy kicking the tires on your football team is a long way from the Behring years, when the owner tried to move the franchise to Southern California. Yardbarker

RAMS

Los Angeles traded Jared Verse and three premium picks for Myles Garrett to win right now, and the hot offseason topic in their corner of the internet is whether 34-year-old Aaron Donald should come out of retirement to shore up the defensive line. One columnist had to publicly argue he shouldn’t. When your best summer idea is begging a Hall of Famer off his couch, the blockbuster maybe didn’t fix as much as advertised.

NINERS

Now that June 1 has passed, San Francisco can finally trade or release Brandon Aiyuk and spread the dead money over two years — and Aiyuk has been posting like a man who thinks the Niners are too scared to actually do it. A $120 million receiver and his team locked in a staring contest neither one will admit to. Nothing says functional organization like negotiating through social media subtweets in the dog days of June.

This fullback signed with Seattle as an undrafted free agent out of Georgia in 1993, played all 15 of his NFL seasons in one city, and earned both Pro Bowl nods of his career plus a first-team All-Pro selection after turning 33. Who is he?

Tap to Reveal the Answer

Mack Strong. He spent his entire career clearing holes for the Seahawks, earned two Pro Bowls (2005, 2006) and first-team All-Pro honors in 2005 as the lead blocker on Shaun Alexander’s MVP season. Fullbacks rarely get recognized. He forced the issue late.

Got a Question for The Rooster?

The offseason program is over and we’ve got six weeks until camp opens the chute. That’s a lot of time to overthink this roster. Send me your questions, your hot takes, and your most unhinged 53-man predictions — the best ones land in the Mailbag.

Six weeks of quiet, then the cameras come to Renton. Rest up. — The Rooster